For many years I worked in a shoe shop. As a female, I was living the dream: discounts on shoes (good shoes too – not cheap and nasty ones) and first pick of the new stock. Over the space of six or so years, my shoe collection grew and grew and grew. It was a wonderfully eclectic mix of high heels, flats, and multiple pairs of boots; black shoes and brightly coloured shoes; shoes that I am always complimented on and shoes that people hate and would never be seen dead in; and shoes that I wore all the time versus the ones that to this day – four years on from me leaving the shoe shop – still have their stuffing in them and have been confined to their box: never have they had the pleasure of being clutched in my hands as I wander the streets barefoot looking for a taxi after a big night out. When I moved house a few years ago, I knew that I couldn’t take all my precious shoes with me and sadly for me, I gave the majority of my hoard away. Happily for my housemate at the time, her shoe collection grew as she had the same shoe size as me.
Recently I’ve started rebuilding my shoe collection. A couple of days ago I obtained two pairs of shoes and posted a picture on Facebook, because people love seeing pictures of my ugly shoe purchases. Unsurprisingly, the majority of people hated them; two people actually called them grandpa shoes, which to me is all part of the charm. That and the fact that they were $20 each reduced from $170 – how could I not buy them? Then yesterday I got some nice girly wedges which were received by my shoe critics with overwhelming warmth. The only thought that raced through my mind as my new shoes received praise was, ‘if only they knew what was on my iPod’.
There’s stuff on my iPod that everyone loves and stuff that people hate; music that makes me happy, music that makes me sad; there’s music from just about every genre you can think of (except for heavy metal screamy stuff) – pop, r’n’b, classical, dance and I’ve recently just added some opera and my new study jam is Marvin Gaye. If I hear it and I likes it, I add it. Then there’s the music on there that even in my most vulnerable moments, I would never admit to having in my collection. The music that you know people will judge you for and which almost immediately causes you to be shunned from society. You would never even admit to yourself that you listen to it and when it plays on your iPod when you’re in public, you turn the volume right down so that there’s no chance of the people around you hearing your shame coming out of the ear buds. You know the songs I’m talking about: songs that no matter how much you want to, you just can’t bring yourself to delete them from your music library because you secretly really love them and you’ll miss not shamefully jamming along to them. You might be listening to one right now.
I have many shameful songs, and in an effort to really connect with the people of the world (or to make my shame less shameful), I have decided to share my shame with you and hope that you won’t judge me too harshly. So here are my top 5 ‘Songs of Shame’, counting down from least shameful to most shameful. I promise that these songs are not a reflection of me as a person. If you too have a song or songs of shame, feel free to share in the comments below – it’s a safe place, we won’t judge you (out loud).
5. ‘Mmm…Bop’, Hanson I know I’m probably not the only female staring down the barrel of thirty that has this in their music collection. I mostly keep it around because it reminds of times when I was young and carefree, and girls would sit around discussing which of the three Hanson brothers was the best looking. Obviously it was Taylor, but I won’t judge you if you were into one of the others.
4. Nickelback, nothing in particular, just all of the Nickelback I feel like this band gets a pretty bad rap. Then I hear that song where the Paddlepop Lion (aka, Chad Kroeger) sings about a girl with her pants around her feet, and I remember why I feel the shame whenever their songs play on my iPod. As I side note, I do not count the aforementioned pants around feet song amongst my music. I like their stuff that’s all ballady and popular with many people who would never admit they like it.
3. ‘Strawberry Kisses’, Nikki Webster Nikki was that cute little girl who sang at the opening ceremony of the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. She was Australia’s darling for a while and I guess there’s some part of all of us that still sees her as our little sister/daughter/friend.I have no excuse for this song other than I really enjoy singing it out loud when I’m alone. No I don’t use a hairbrush when doing so.
2/1. ‘Nothing in This World’ & ‘Stars Are Blind’, Paris Hilton You can put these two in whatever order you like on the list of shame. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the only person in the world to admit to having these in my music collection. In my defence, I bought the entirety of the album that these songs appeared on when I was all, “I don’t care what people think of my taste in music”, AND I only allowed myself to put two songs instead of the entire album on my iPod. Good job me – I kept some credibility.